Are YOU Evolutionized?

Answers in Genesis (that entirely misnamed anti-science dogmatic creationist organisation behind most of the fundamentalist bible thumping materials) has posted a vapid eight part questionnaire to gauge how “evolutionized” you have become. Because, as we all know, atheists have been working toward the New World Order by promoting godless evolution since their deity Darwin penned his plan for reckless world domination over 150 years years ago.

Curious to find out exactly how brainwashed I have become, I decided to spend a little time navel gazing and answering their formidable and emotionally arduous interrogation.

Evolution can become so ingrained in our thinking that we don’t even notice it. Our government schools and universities are entrenched in evolution, from biology to philosophy and even English class. There is no escaping evolution after we graduate, either. We encounter it in the newspaper, on the radio, on television, and in blockbuster movies. So, how do you know if you’ve been evolutionized?

Once again Answers in Genesis intentionally conflates the various meanings of the word “evolution” in a deliberate attempt to muddy the waters and confuse their uneducated drones. When most people say “evolution” we are talking about one particular set of explanations as they pertain biological organisms and their variation over time – i.e.. the theory of biological evolution. It has nothing to do with the use of the word in any other setting, such as chemical evolution, or the evolution of Biblical text (yes, even the inerrant word of God has changed over the centuries).

Here are a few questions to find out: Are tribes in the South American rain forest more primitive forms of humans than we are?

No. Every extant species on Earth is a modern form. There is no progression from bacteria through worms, fish, reptiles, mammals, monkeys, and humans. Evolution is not a ladder with “lower” form of life developing into humans (who are presumedly on the top as they are made “in God’s image”). “Primitive” tribes in the South American rain forest are only primitive in the sense of the technology they have mastered, but they are biologically brilliantly adapted for survival – as evident by the fact they are still here.

Did dinosaurs live before humans?

Absolutely. Contrary to Answers in Genesis dogma, the Flintstones is not a documentary. Dinosaurs ruled the Earth of millennia before a great extinction paved the way for small mammals to crawl out of their shadows and populate the planet.

Were the people who lived in caves and used simple tools not very intelligent?

It’s difficult to tell where Answers in Genesis are coming from with this question, so I will assume they are alluding to intelligence as somehow higher up the evolutionary ladder (not that there is such a thing). “Cave men” (what about the women?) where no less intelligent than we are today. If we had the ability to go back in time, capture a “cave child”, and raise them as our own they would grow up to wanting to be a fireman, airline pilot, scientist, or (God forbid) a flippin’ creationist.

Did Noah lack special tools or equipment to build the Ark?

This is like asking a Star Trek nerd about the details of warp drive technology. Entirely pointless. What does it matter? Noah, Moses, Jesus and lots of other characters in the horribly written collection of fairy tales that is called the Bible probably never existed. Who gives a crap about the details of the myth? Is anyone deeply worried about the dimensions and structure of Jack’s beanstalk?

Are the stars older than the earth?

Given that we are made of stardust I would say the Earth is certainly younger than the stars we originate from. However, star formation is a continual process (that is until entropy takes it final cold death grip on the universe). There may be many stars which are younger than the Earth. This will probably melt the minds of people who believe their fairy god father conjured everything from nothing in a matter of days, but I don’t care.

Is there more than one race?

Race of what? Humans? No. There is no such thing as race, we are all one species. Take the dog as an example: we have many different “breeds” of dog which can exhibit great physical differences between and two individuals. On the whole all dogs can produce fertile offspring which indicates they are one species – after all that is the definition of species. (I will leave aside possible problems with Great Danes and Chihuahua’s producing offspring for now). Since all humans can breed with each other we are also all one species. Divisions into arbitrary subgroups based on skin colour, hair colour, place of birth, skull shape, or eye shape has zilch to do with the reality of the underlying biology.

Does it take millions of years to form fossils, oil, coal, or diamonds?

Interesting how Answers in Genesis lump fossils, oil, coal, and diamonds into one category all taking millions of years to develop. Each has a varying timeline of creation (opps, I said it) that is far more than these intellectual midgets can imagine. Creationists have a black and white view of the world – either it was created in 6 days, or everything took millions and millions of years. Retards.

Did Adam have to learn how to speak, read, and write after he was created?

Who the fuck was he going to speak to, or read a letter from?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you’ve been evolutionized to some degree, and the more times you responded “yes,” the more evolution impacts your thinking. Evolutionary teaching so permeates our culture that it can affect every area of our thinking, including what we believe about the Bible. This sort of evolutionized thinking has even permeated our churches.

Holy crap! I am “evolutionized”. Can I get a vaccine for it, or am I doomed to spend the rest of my life living rationally, comforted by verifiable evidence and predictable observations?

That is why it is more important than ever for Christians to be discerning and weigh every thought against the truths revealed in God’s Word. If you examine each question more closely, you will see how your answers must be different from evolutionists’ if you start with God’s Word.

That is, if you take a old book as the revealed word of god before you do any thinking whatsoever, you will be wrong on almost everything.

It is the duty of Christians to “demolish arguments … and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5, NIV).

Really? I thought it was every Christians duty to hate everyone:

“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children,and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.” – Luke 14:26

Oh wait. They already do. At least they do if you don’t happen to believe in the same invisible friend they do. Or worse still, not have an invisible friend at all.