Pope to fight secularism

Rather than address the rampant sexual abuse within its ranks, or examining the probability of condom failures and their link to the spread of AIDS in Africa, or considering the implications of preventing research on a handful of cells weighed against the suffering of full grown adults, or allowing women the same rights regardless of the apparent sex of their deity, the Catholic Church has decided to the most pressing issue of the day is the secularisation of the West.

“Pope Benedict XVI is creating a new Vatican office to fightsecularization and “re-evangelize” the West — a tacit acknowledgment that his attempts to reinvigorate Christianity in Europe haven’t succeeded and need a new boost.”

It seems the European climate has become too educated for the Catholic faith.  The critical light of reason, evidence, and science has resulted in Catholicism wilting and slowly dying.  I am going to assume Pope Palpatine has invented a device to spread blinding ignorance and mind-numbing fear through an unsuspecting public.  It’s worked in the past.

“Benedict said parts of the world are still missionary territory, where the Catholic Church is still relatively unknown. But in other parts of the world like Europe, Christianity has existed for centuries yet “the process of secularization has produced a serious crisis of the sense of the Christian faith and role of the Church.”

If the Pope’s plan of orbiting lobotomy lasers fail, a easier strategy to expand the faith (other than actually demonstrating their bizarre claims are actually true) is to invade lands that are uneducated, mostly desperate, and wholly ill prepared to defend themselves against the horrifying dogma of eternal torture and genocidal gods.

How dare we expect people of all beliefs to live together in peace and harmony.  Secular indeed! How very unchristian of us.